Sophia Magdalena Hofmann

love. clarity. connection. integrity. tranformation. creation.

7.5 Days - report

EXPERIMENT:

4 sorceresses, 7 days, every emotion that comes up will be worked out and gone through. Set a date and ask 4 space holders to be in your service for 7 days. That means that you keep living your life and doing as you do (if you are working in a shared working space, don’t go there – it might freak your colleagues out) but whenever an emotion is coming up you call one of the 4 numbers. If someone doesn’t pick up the phone try the next one, until the emotion is healed. It is helpful to prepare in an easily accessible location a chair, something to lay down on, 2 towels, a box of tissues, tape and scissors, a bucket and if you want a candle and flowers. Create something like a WhatsApp group so you can stay in touch with each other and send updates about the processes to your team. It’s quite a bit of space holding so you might want to make a deal with your space holder what you could give them in return. Then, get started!

The following is my personal report about this experiment.

All of this started because the man I share the evolution of live with and I were stuck in a very long-time liquid state. It took me to the edge of my 5 bodies and I was starving for a way to help myself. So in a state of overwhelming amount of emotions that made me go crazy and freak out and explode in anger, I called a very loved sorceress in my contact list. She got in connection with me and helped me to settle this overwhelming mountain of unknown bullshit and emotions. Some days later I called her again, sharing what was going on. During that call, I figured out a construct I have that made the situation for me as hard as it was. Inside this construct, it smells like rotten pears. During the last year I got to smell something different and I wanted to get rid of this rotten pear stuff that made me feel so miserable.

This revelation was so shocking that I sat there in the kitchen and cried and didn’t know who I really was. I didn’t know myself anymore. I was lost, not knowing if the parts of which I’d thought they’d been “I” were truly me. So, this lovely sorceress made me an offer. An offer to do an experiment over 7 days. As I heard her voice and as her words landed in me something inside of me lit up. YES! I want that! I want to get rid of the ballast and the emotions keeping me from what really matters. I wanted to feel my own power again. I wanted to look at all of me, at every nook and cranny. And there was fear, a good amount of fear!

Hearing that, she asked me when I would start the experiment. (Another construct – bank holidays made picking the date fun. I thought I couldn’t start the coming Monday because it was the Easter Monday and it wouldn’t be polite to ask the sorceresses to get in my service on that day. After some laughing, I chose Easter Monday anyway.) And finally, I asked her if she would be part of the team and she agreed! This was very beautiful for me – just a moment before I asked her, my fear increased a lot and got down to 0% after she agreed. I felt stronger because of her agreeing. I felt capable of going into this experiment.I had two days left to ask three more sorceresses if they would like to join the team. Even though I didn’t have that much time it took me almost a day to ask the next person to join. I was scared I wouldn’t find enough amazing people to start the experiment on time – so I waited a little longer to ask even though I knew that if I waited longer, I would need even more spontaneity of my friends. Fear sometimes does crazy stuff to me if I don’t own it. Finally, I asked the next very lovely sorceress if she would like to be part of this experiment. She said YES! This again gave me a lot of confidence and joy and so it took me only a couple hours to ask the next one. And then again, I received a YES! And I asked the forth magical creature and received a YES. I had my team, I had the WhatsApp group and I introduced the experiment and made the offer of paying them by baking cookies for each of them. In my state before the experiment, cookies were the payment that I felt best with. I was not only out of my mind, but really out of everything, and the only moment I felt like it was I doing something I love with love was when I was baking. For this reason, I felt that the “right” way to give something back by doing the only thing left where I felt myself and was connected to myself. Additionally, I thought that I would use the time during the experiment when I wasn’t in a call and in a process to bake. I didn’t – I will do the baking after the experiment.

The day before the experiment started, I joined an online rage club and it made me go liquid. I was not able to stay present in the rage club because I was flying – it was really hard for me to follow what was going on or any spoken words. My anger was mixed with sadness, so I was unmixing feelings instead of going in pure anger. The rest of the day, I was full of sadness, which made me unable to worry about the experiment that was about to start. Except one thing: I felt fear that my emotions would hide the following week, because my system knew that I was going to take care of them and so theywouldn’t come out. I told the witches in the WhatsApp group about this fear and we came to the solution that if really no emotion would show up, I would do at least one emotion each day from the list of emotions in my beep book. This worked quite well to navigate my fear down, but didn’t bring it down to 0% completely.

Monday morning, the fear was rising again and got really strong. I was worried that I would miss my chance to clean up my life. I was scared that I wouldn’t do enough for this experiment to succeed. Lots of voices who tried to make me small. I decided to call one of my numbers and suddenly I was in the middle of my experiment. I discovered several trigger sentences that make me lose my ground. The sorceress on the other side of the line gave me an exercise: find a pair of big boots you can wear in your flat and make them be your grounding boots. They keep you on the ground. Until now, I still use my slippers as grounding boots.

And I kept calling them. Somehow, I was able to stop the Box chatter that said I was a bother to the others if I called them. I didn’t need it, I made a deal. I think I had another two or three calls that day and got in contact with my body and several emotions that had gotten stuck in different places of my body. Frankly, I don’t really remember how many calls I had each day. I just called again and again and again. On Monday evening, I started to write down what I was feeling, and I got really sad because I wasn’t writing for a very long time. I realised that writing is a very strong way for me to tell what is going on and to let it go. It seems like I’m full of stuff and the more I write the lighter I get – it creates more and more space in my mental body and in my physical body. In a way, I kept everything I had to write in my system and over the years it built up more

and more. Besides that, on Monday I had the impression that the next day was going to be tough.

Tuesday morning, I had a check in about the concept I discovered some days before and it got me into quite a big process in which I called a part of my being back in. It made me have the most joyful liquid state I have ever had. I had to laugh about so many things and in our weekly call, my fellow beings from the trainer path were quite amused about me and my liquid state. I quote: “What did you give her? I want the same!” The same day (I think it was the same day – at some point the days melted together) I tricked my Gremlin by talking with one of the sorceresses about the things Lina (my Gremlin) would like to do and that doing them wouldn’t help my experiment. I kept her on her leash and didn’t watch meaningless series on Netflix for the whole week. Actually, I still haven’t done that since. I really enjoyed the silence, creation (I was painting a lot) and the nothing between the calls. Only on Saturday I fed her a little – because it was her feeding day, but I’ll talk later about that.

On Wednesday, I noticed more and more often how different constructs I have wanted to take control of my life and I had sore muscles. And it went on like this. I discovered more constructs and kept solving all kinds of emotions about school, about my parents, my brother, etc. I had a past life process which I got into because I realised that I was ready to work and I was ready to become visible but I was waiting for something.

As the week went on, I started to do more experiments inside the experiment. I called one of the sorceresses once, just to tell a story because I wanted to see what would happen if I told this story. And I called for life-hints that would help me in daily life. And I asked several questions. By doing that, I figured out that I sometimes ask questions even though I already know or sense the answer. When I do that, I keep myself small and feign stupidity a little. Then, there is a part of me that likes to listen to – in my eyes – intelligent people or authority figures. 

One evening, I took part in a body healing workshop. I felt myself growing – I felt how I was cleaning up my life and as the muscle pain got worse I became more present. I feel so much space for myself and around me and I feel how I hold my boundaries. I feel connected to myself and I feel centered. I made a huge number of new decisions and set several boundaries. Once, it happened that I had a process and afterwards I felt something stuck in my head, so I looked at the same thing again from a different angle. There was more to it than I had seen at first. And as the days passed by I integrated and integrated. Clarity is growing, power is growing, I am growing and my problems are getting bigger. Before, I was not able to say what I want and now I slowly get a feeling about what I want or not. And I got more and more tired. On Friday I didn’t eat enough, which made me quite tired on Saturday as well. On Saturday, too, I didn’t eat until 4 pm. By that time, I was so hungry that I almost fainted. I didn't want to eat because during this experiment I am doing another experiment, which is not to eat before 4pm. Those two experiments can work together if I eat enough after 4pm. So, a little hint – if you want to do this experiment, don’t forget to eat!! I ate a lot on Saturday evening and still I was hungry on Sunday – so I had a small lunch on Sunday to be gentle with my body.

The weekend itself was a little calmer, not as much processes as I had the rest of the week. It was just how I needed it. Besides, Lina asked for a little attention because Saturday is her Gremlin day. I was surprised how fast she was satisfied. A few sweets and some gaming on my phone for maybe 30 minutes, that was it. Shortly before the experiment was about to end I had a situation at home which made me lose my center and I didn’t know how to deal with it. My Box jumped in and I was really scared. In that call I realised that I really start to see the different parts in other people and in myself. I see Gremlins working, Boxes protecting and Child states being present. I knew about them before and I was able to distinguish them somewhat, but now I feel them – I see them. The process was intense, I had been waiting for this topic to show up, but it took until just before the end of the experiment to come up. I already started to think there might not be anything about this to say or to go through. I suspect that deep inside of me, I knew that it would come up one day. Now I have the story that I just have not been ready for it before. Then I was – I’m glad about that and deeply touched. As I am by this whole week! The second Monday was a little strange, because I wasn’t quite sure if the day was still an experiment day or not. One week from Monday to Monday – or 7 days – would be until Sunday. I thought about asking in the group but I was ashamed that I forgot this detail of the deal. I felt more comfortable with calling a number. And I did. So now my experiment was 7.5 days long. 7.5 unbelievable and unpredictable days that feel like a whole year! I wouldn’t have been able to guess what this week would be like and I’m glad that I didn’t think about it. I didn’t have expectations about this experiment and this whole week and I’m glad I went through it!

How is it now?
Hmm, now... well, now I’m sitting here, realising and seeing so much more than just a week ago. Amazed, laughing, loved, touched, liquid, silent, sometimes a little lonely. The “X” on the map has changed for me. I’ll keep working and I’ll keep transforming, not just (for) myself. And as I watch the sun set my sadness rises... I’m present again!

I take a stand for transformation! I take a stand for evolution! I take a stand for life! I take a stand for connection! I take a stand for commitment! I take a stand for circles! I take a stand for experiments!

Thank you to the amazing team, thank you for supporting me – thank you to Anne- Chloé Destremau, Lisa Kuchenmeister, Melina Gallus and Habet Ogbamichael-Kupfer

I love you!

Love, Sophia-Magdalena

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